Love Salt Light

Intentionally growing in love.

Intentionally growing in love

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Kicking off our weekly #turnitoffandtalkitout ques

Kicking off our weekly #turnitoffandtalkitout questions again. Can you believe it’s been two years since we took our TV down!!? We began these when we started with no TV for one night of the week, which led to a month without TV and now it’s gone, for good!
We hope these posts can be a source of discussion starters for you as you make time to be unplugged from technology and talk face-to-face about things other than work, household jobs, money or kids.
Have you actually ever spoken about your expectations for sex together? How often you expect it? What you specifically do and don’t like, or even the location or time of day that you prefer.
Isn’t it funny that even though it is such an intimate experience you share, it can still be difficult to discuss those things openly and honestly with your spouse.
I remember chatting to one of our pastors at a wedding years ago and she had been married for over 30 years. She was sharing all the things she loves about being married for so long. One thing she said was how good sex keeps getting because you care less about being polite and you just tell them exactly what you do and don’t like haha.
The couple we did pre-martial counseling with shared that she realised soon into her marriage that she never felt sexy after eating a big meal on a dinner date so they had to adjust expectations of having sex after a date night (as cliche as that might seem, or as many husbands/wives may expect). Maybe you’ve never felt confident enough to share your thoughts about your sex life outside of the bedroom, but we would encourage you to do so! “Sex is not the icing on the cake, it’s an essential ingredient to the cake itself. If we neglect regular sex, we risk becoming separate on every level.” - The Marriage Book.
Plan time over the weekend or next week to ask each other this question. Hope it sparks a good chat, amongst other things 😏 #turnitoffandtalkitout

Recently through our church back in Melbourne, we’ve been going through an amazing series on the armour of God. Through things going on in our personal lives, we’ve been reminded at just how much is at play in the spiritual realm. As we’ve been learning about the armour of God again and discussing it with our son, it made me think just how relevant it is to marriages also.

We’re going to do a little series inspired by Ephesians 6:10-18. Some of these ideas and themes may sound quite intense or foreign to you but, if you are a couple of faith, we really hope this encourages you also. Today we’re focusing on the overarching backbone of this scripture and that is PRAYER.

In a spiritual sense, we should see the armour of God as a second skin. We don’t only put it on when there’s a problem. The enemy may be invisible but he’s certainly not fictional. As long as you’re only focused on what you can see with your physical eyes, in the natural, he can continue to run rampant underneath the surface.

A prayerless marriage is a powerless marriage.

Prayer is critical in gaining victory in your marriage. “Prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare” (Eph 6:12 MSG)

Do you pray daily with your spouse? Is it priority for you both?

Even though we have made this a non-negotiable in our marriage every night, we absolutely STILL forget sometimes and fall asleep or get distracted by other things. When we notice things feeling off, this is the first thing we check ourselves on and bring back into play. We have found there is an undeniable connection between the health of our prayer life and our marriage.
If you’re going through some difficulties in your relationship, the first and BEST thing you can do is pray, together. Then build it into your day, everyday!

The enemy fully intends to sidetrack the level of attention on your marriage with many other issues in your life - busyness, tiredness, work, worry, stress.

Prayer isn't some kind of magic - marriages need Jesus everyday because He's the only one who can replace our brokenness with His fullness.
One of the best ways you can fight for your marriage, is to pray for it together #growyourlove

Would your spouse say you’re reliable? Do you fo

Would your spouse say you’re reliable? Do you follow through with promises or your share of the load? Do your actions match your words? 🧡 “How do you develop a reputation of reliability?
First, you live with integrity. Integrity doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means what you see is what you get. You are the real deal, because your actions match your words.
Proverbs 25:13 says, “Reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat — refreshing!” (MSG) Can your spouse rely on you to be the person you claim to be?
Second, you keep your promises.
Psalm 15:4 says, “They always do what they promise, no matter how much it may cost” (TEV).
This means you keep a promise, even when you find out it’s going to cost you more than you thought.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

Own the morning, own the day! How to start your m

Own the morning, own the day!
How to start your marriage off well EVERYDAY... 🌼Pray FOR your spouse 🌼Pray for your marriage 🌼Think of one small act of love you can easily do for them and plan it into your day.

“Anything that grows fast usually doesn’t last

“Anything that grows fast usually doesn’t last.” Same as you don’t just get into severe debt overnight, your marriage doesn’t end up in a terrible state suddenly - little by little things have caused it to erode. So it must be fixed, little by little.

It’s harder to notice when it happens slowly - we slowly allow our marriage to become deficient in the small things (spending quality time, gifts, gestures, actions, words, physical touch, acts of service, dates, romance, communication, respect, honour etc)

Just like when you were dating (for most people) you didn’t just meet them once, share one meal and then decide to get married - it’s a slow process of getting to know them intimately. If you’re hoping for a miracle to save your marriage, - they do happen of course, but not too often. Miracles are sudden and unusual. Lasting success is achieved in the everyday moments, little by little #growyourlove

“Good for good; bad for bad. That’s the drivin

“Good for good; bad for bad. That’s the driving force behind playing fair. It’s a philosophy that says, “If you treat me right, I’ll treat you right. But if you cross me, I’ll hurt you right back.” In a conflict, it means a couple gives each other what they deserve, and that’s exactly the problem.

Playing fair works as long as we give good things to our spouse in return for their positive behavior. But what happens when respect breaks down and one spouse snaps in anger at the other? Often times, the spouse who gets yelled at responds by screaming right back. And just like that, the relationship takes a hit because one spouse has given the other what they deserved. Unfortunately, many marriages operate on this premise, and it’s a significant reason why they fail.

Relationships thrive when we put aside what someone deserves and respond by giving them what they NEED. When our spouse fails us, they need us to rise above the offense and help them be better, NOT simply get even with them. It’s an expression of God’s grace and an opportunity to meet your spouse’s mistakes with a response that heals. And it’ll enable your relationship to grow more safe and loving, rather than causing it to deteriorate further. “ - words by Jim Daly. (Pictured: a sweet scene Mark set up for me when I was sick and having a really rough week mentally, even though he had just had a wisdom tooth taken out himself. He doesn’t just do what’s fair or act lovingly in return for something I did for him. He always chooses to SERVE first. Probably the biggest antidote to conflict is having that attitude, in the big and small, everyday.)

“Differences and disagreements do not need to de

“Differences and disagreements do not need to destroy a marriage. Marriage is not about suppressing our personality. Rather it involves discussing our different points of view, seeking to understand each other and finding ways of combining our wisdom and gifts. When we do this, we discover that the issue that threatened to divide us has drawn us closer together and caused our marriage to move forward. It is rather affirming our belief that God brought us together and there is ALWAYS a way through.” - The Marriage Book. 🖤Our hope and prayer for you all today is that whatever differences you’re experiencing this week, you’re able to graciously find your way through whilst clinging to each other rather than trying to get your own back, get even or retaliate. Let’s start the week strong 👊🏼🙏🏼 #growyourlove

Tummy a little more stretched, breasts emptied, sh

Tummy a little more stretched, breasts emptied, shoulders slightly more curved and eyes wrinkled.
Yet all at the same time, arms never felt more fulfilled, heart never known such depths, softer skin never kissed, eyes never sighted such raw beauty, sounds never been so sweet and melodic to my ears (most of the time..) To be everything I ever wanted, to often being much more than I can handle.
It’s a surreal feeling to never feel quite enough but always be more than enough in their little eyes.
Reflecting on the fact that with all my lack and many (many) flaws, my creator, chose me to be their mum - is something that regularly brings me to my knees.
Sentiments of being a mother are hard to truly express. Feelings that resound so deeply in your bones are difficult to put into words but, it’s the most beautiful, humbling experience I think I’ll encounter.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mamas of every kind 🧡 #mothersday

Little thought for the week... Am I holding my hus

Little thought for the week...
Am I holding my husband/wife to a standard of my own creation rather than God’s?
Instead of comparing, offer your husband/wife the relentless grace and love you’ve received from Christ and celebrate the ways they are uniquely them. #growyourlove

Family traditions are everything right now.

Family traditions are everything right now.

During this strange time it’s particularly impor

During this strange time it’s particularly important to be a TEAM.
Everyone we know has been effected by Covid-19 and I’m sure you have too.
You might be finding yourselves working from home together, one or both of you stood down from jobs, homeschooling kids, teaching kids whilst also working from home yourself, adjusting to a new budget, weddings, holidays or special events cancelled, barely making rent, adjusting to life with a new baby together without any extra support - Whatever you face, we encourage you to take the stance of you TWO against the problem, not the problem getting in between you both.
This is important all the time but during this pandemic, it’s more important than ever.
Check in regularly throughout the day as emotions can fluctuate very quickly with ever changing circumstances, asking how you can help, doing something practical that’s special for them, find something to laugh about together and pray more together during this time!! We’ve been encouraging each other to get up before the kids for a surf, run, quiet time as much as we can.
Yesterday I was fed up with being home so Mark suggested I come to where he was working with the kids and just have lunch with him. So we made him a hot lunch and baked some muffins and had lunch together outside the building site just for 20 minutes.
It’s nothing ground breaking but maybe next week you can look for some ways to help your spouse overcome little problems or difficulties they’re facing.
Over the weekend take some time to reflect on whether you’ve been united or battling each other at this time and think of just ONE THING you do better as a team next week!

12 years ago today, a 16 year old Mark sat next to

12 years ago today, a 16 year old Mark sat next to me, on top of my brother’s car boot (at youth camp) and asked me to be his girlfriend. I still get butterflies thinking about it. I remember laughing and being so giddy after saying “yes” and straight away saying to him that my parents will get such a shock! To which he told me he’d already rung my mum and asked permission 😭
This anniversary of the beginning of us always gets me nostalgic. I haven’t got our huge box of memorabilia with us in Qld but I always keep this little stash in my bedside table - a linen bag filled with notes, emails, cards, photos and my old journal.
I thought I’d share some encouragement for those maybe who are single and waiting to find their partner, or maybe you’ve recently been through a break up or even divorce and find yourself alone again.
A year before we started dating, 16 year old me was feeling sad that all my friends had boyfriends (all my besties are older than me). I’d never dated or kissed anyone or anything. Here I was at the tender age of sixteen, feeling sad about wondering when it would be my turn. (LOL!) I always had a desire to know my husband from a young age and to date and get married fairly young.
Someone gave me some advice that I should start a journal and write dreams, desires and prayers down, specifically about my future husband. Then the idea was that you write it almost to them, and they can read it on the future. So I took myself to Kmart and bought a bright electric blue journal (I was very intentional about choosing a colour ‘he’ would like...turned out to be his ultimate fave)
I didn’t write in it very often but started with prayers and a collection of ideas and specific things I wanted in a husband. I prayed over that list a lot.
I had already known Mark at this stage but soon after this little journaling process began, he started to become a very close friend.
I remember not wanting to write his name into it at the start for fear that it wouldn’t end up being him that read it. But I basically started writing it to him in the hope that it was.
When he asked me out and we were boyfriend and girlfriend, the journal changed to letters to Mark