1. TELL US YOUR SIMPLE LOVE STORY

JP & BP: We certainly aren’t your conventional love story! Our story began when we were two & three years old. Josh’s Dad pastored the church my family attended in eastern Melbourne and we were family friends. At the age of six, Josh moved to Italy and at 14 came back to Australia but moved to QLD. Five years later (thanks to Facebook) we made contact again. Bron came up to visit and the rest is history! Six months of back and fourth long distance relationship before we tied the knot and Bron moved up to QLD!

 

2. DESCRIBE ONE WAY YOU EACH INTENTIONALLY GROW YOUR LOVE?

JP: One way I intentionally grow our love is through always giving Bron the space to share and work through her emotions when she needs this space. No matter what I initally think, I have leanred the importance of truly HEARING her and also choosing to give her this prioritses her and our marriage in my mind, consolidating it’s place of absolute value in my mind. One very specific and spicy way we grow our love intentionally that some of our friends know about and now you all do haha is sneaking away at (almost) every wedding we are at for some “alone time”. This is always fun to try to find a good hiding spot and gives us a laugh afterwards too!!!

BP: I intentionally grow my love for Josh through writing him letters of encouragement about his character and who I know him to be. He keeps most of these in his wallet or his journal. I also made him a 365 day personalised devotional / love dare book. This has prayers, verses, photos and different ideas to enhance our love for God & each other.

 

3. SHARE YOUR MOST RECENT, OR FAVOURITE GO-TO DATE

JP: We love spending the day together down on the Gold Coast always getting an ice cream, of course! This was one of the places we spent the most time at when we were dating 💛 Sometimes this ‘date’ looks like our kids being there too, but this was one of the places we put on the list we made with our counsellor to share this experience when we need reconnection or repair.

BP: We are not great at going out on dates (although our fave place is currently ‘Ole’ in Southbank Brisbane where we order lamb Cordero to share and an AMAZING Spanish red wine! Seriously go there if you’re ever in Brisbane). With both of our parents living over an hour away babysitters are few & far between. We make intentional time together every week and our at-home-dates have been extremely special bonding time that we can enjoy each other fully, either making a beautiful platter and Josh making us a Gin & Tonic or cooking a fave Italian meal together!

 

4. SHARE YOUR BEST PIECE OF ADVICE TO KEEP A MARRIAGE THRIVING

JP: Being aware that ups and DOWNS are going to happen, but especially all the in between stuff as well, learning to become content and find the joy in the daily ‘mundane-ness’ of doing life together. Gaining an awareness of EXPECTATIONS from both parties (on each other AND yourself) has been vital for us to allow the other the FREEDOM to learn how to love each other more honestly. Giving each other the space to be known fully by the other, including the good and bad of the person and accepting who they truly are has helped us to grow deep roots of trust and connection with each other. Communicating even the painful and ‘shameful’ aspects of who we are to the other and revealing that fully furthers this growth and develops unconditional love. And when you don’t have the unconditional love for the other who may be hurting you, giving it over to God and choosing the other despite their flaws.

BP: Learning to communicate properly, directly and assertively (and knowing your spouse is not a mind reader) has been vital for us staying committed and growing our daily joy in our marriage (also reduced many potential conflicts). This has happened through seeing a marital therapist for 3 years, reading many books TOGETHER and apart (eg. The Meaning of Marriage, Keep Your Love On, and Relationships a Mess Worth Making – just incase you need a good title!) as well as being intentional about TRULY prioritising your marriage above all else, INCLUDING work, children and SELF (and ensuring that your spouse KNOWS this).

 

5. HOW DO YOU MAINTAIN BALANCE BETWEEN BEING A HUSBAND/WIFE NOW THAT YOU’RE PARENTS?

This has begun for us by the way we view our roles in our family. We see too many people, especially Mums I think, finding their entire identity in motherhood. I would suggest that putting your role as a spouse before your role as a parent is the only way you will function at your best for your children. The love that flourishes and stems from your marriage falls directly onto the heads of your children – they are covered by it and sense it within the family bond created through the foundation of your marriage. Practically this looks like putting our children to bed EARLY and spending intentional time together, getting to know each others world. We sit down together at the end of the day and debrief without judgement and recognise our flaws and triumphs throughout the day. This is a grounding ritual that enables us to embrace whatever the new day brings in the morning.